Alien Rumble

With Shadows bringing up aliens earlier I thought I'd give my own two cents on the matter, by giving you the write up for a royal rumble of aliens, to the death, winner takes all, um... and the others die in arse.

Firstly, our competitors;

Alien, E.T., Predator, SuperMan and Optimus Prime.

Lets see how the competition stacks up

Alien: Bleeds Acid, Has a big bitey mouth that can't actually bite you because of the smaller non-bitey but jabby mouth inside bitey mouth. Can climb on walls. Looks like we have a bit of a tough competition starting to shape up, with competitors like these who knows who'll win. The Alien is a badass who kills cause he can.

E.T.: scrawny arms, tiny legs, kinda fat, can make his finger glow. After the last entry this is just retarded, E.T. doesn't even look like he's done any training for this match, lets hope that glowing finger comes in handy. I hope he uses his catch cry, which isn't "E.T. phone home" as you've been led to believe, but in fact is, "eeny , meeny, miney, moe. I wonder where my glowing finger will go!"

Predator: Phew, back to form, The Predator has been working out and it shows, lean mean and with tonnes o' cool weapons to kill the others with, shame he's fucking ugly as, seriously, how does that species procreate looking like that, I know some guys into some pretty freaky shit but this is ridiculous. At least we have a contender for the Alien.

SuperMan: Gay

Optimus Prime: A robot from space who barely fits in the arena. I hope he has acid proof armor for his sake. The coolest thing about optimus is he can mangle you by running you over then morph and point and laugh at you. How would that make you feel, being laughed at by the very automobile that ran you over. You'd feel like crying to mummy, wouldn't you, and then you'd probably die in hospital of the injuries only to be brought back to life by a vampire and then you decide to seek your revenge but then realise you can't because Optimus is a robot and can't have his blood sucked out. so there.

And now to the battle.

GO!

Oh god, Alien has jump right on top of Optimus and is furiously salivating on him. Is the Alien attracted to the robot or does he bare malice for him? I don't know but his strategy is working, Optimus is down looking like a bad Picaso painting, with a turd next to it.

The alien has Jumped for the predator and now they're grappling with each other. And here comes superman, who suddenly collapses dead from being way too gay. Alien strikes predator and predator fires a... thing that completely incinerates the Alien. Holy shit, if only you could see it.

The predator turns toward E.T. who is backing away shaking his glowing finger at the predator, he looks like he hopes something will shoot out of it, not unlike the shit shooting out of another part of his body. But what's this, the predator is stumbling, he's losing a lot of blood from the aliens attack, he falls, his vitals are failing, it looks like... yes, he's dead. I don't believe it, the winner is- huh? E.T. has just exploded for some reason. Looks like we have no winner.