Beef Lasagna: The Review

This, the first in the series, review is of the Generic HomeBrand Microwavable Beef Lasagna I had for dinner tonight. The reviews will go like this: I'll review five categories and get an overall score from that using a sophisticated scoring technique, each category will be out of ten.

1 Packaging:
Being a generic brand, it is expected that this comes in very lackluster packaging but how does it compare to other generics? First off I like the use of the colour red for the words homebrand, reminds me of a homicidal maniac trying to spell the name of his latest victim using only an axe, their blood, and his phallus. Compared to other generic brands (savings, black & gold, no name, etc.) this is a very bold effort. This bolsteres the score greatly but unfortunatly this particular product comes in a cardboard box, without plastic covering the delectable crap food inside.
4/10

2. Ease of cooking:
Usually when you get a frozen meal the instuctions say something along the lines of, micrwave for 5-6 minutes. Not Home Brand beef lasgna, they specify thet you must "cook on high for 7 minutes then on medium for 6 minutes, let stand for 2 minutes." If I wanted to spend time thinking and changing temperaturs and pressing more buttons than necessary I'd've bought some food to cook. I wanted simple, easy, one step crap. I will be writing a letter of complaint to Home Brand that reads.
Home Brand
Re: Beef Lasagna
Takes too FUCKING long
With love,
Some Arsehole.
1/10

3. The act of eating:
The packaging does state that you should let it sit for two minutes. I let mine sit for ... at least five minutes and it still kinda burned my (tounge, tugne, tognue)... mouth. If the fires of hell are half as bad I'm going to be the best damn guy I can be. Cause I don't want Satan to start poking my head with bad beef lasagna. Oh, did I mention how little it tastes like beef? I didn't? It doesn't taste very much like beef.
1/10

4. Cleaning up.
Easy, Pick plastic up - Move to bin - Drop plastic into bin - wash fork. Okay so it would've been a little easier had I had a plastic fork, But meh. Loses one point for me not having a plastic fork.
9/10

5. Can't think of another category
The beef lasagna scored quite well on this, because I couldn't acctually think of a another category.
7/10

Overall: A good meal if you have permenantly lost your sense of taste, a fucking awesome meal if you've also lost you sense of smell. Otherwise, all I have to say is... Meh.
53/10476

GOOD GRAVY: I want to use this term in every review I do. Yes I know that the next review will most probably not be about food, but I'll use it anyway.

Have an awesome weekend.