System Slow Conspiracy!!!!!!

Alright this week my blog is brought to mind because of Scene kids' words of wisdom on old fuckers driving slowly. As we all know old people cant move especially fast because the joints seize up, you back feels like it weighs approximately 30 tonnes and you cant see shit cause your eyeballs haven't changed since their mum and dad had it off in the back of the chariot in the Colosseum.

This of course is complete crap fed to you by the government and assorted scientists who are paid by the government, to hide the real truth. Which is, that when people get old they have all these assorted 'check ups', these are cleverly designed procedures at which time the government inserts a nano-proxium into your body which gradually changes your DNA so that it degenerates you into one of these slow muther-freaking dickwads that slow traffic to a near halt, fill our supermarket aisles and completely halt all buying at the cash registers with their assorted fumbling in their tiny changes purses.

"Thats total bullshit!" ,i hear you say, "Why the fuck would the Government do that? its completely counter productive!". Well actually what is the one thing you do when you get stuck behind some ancient whispy haired mother fucker in traffic? You instantly want to go a whole lot faster, when stuck behind some grandma with her trolley blocking the aisle at your local woolies you instantly want to go past her and get your stuff as fast as you can.

The government wants to maximise your effeciency while your still young, when you get older though you realise that it's all a buch of shit and that it doesn't matter how fast you do something fast or if you take your sweet ass time about it, so you sort of give up on the whole idea. The government wishes to discourage this, hence the secretive implant. And of course they also want you to put more money into the economy, and we all know that the longer your car stays on the more petrol it uses. I mean the government made a car that would run on water years back, but if we all ran our cars on water then we'd have to drink beer all the time and of course that would lead to us letting go of the systems complete oppression and leads us to FREEDOM!


So moral of the story, next time you get stuck behind some retard doing 10 in a 80 zone remember that they are just under the influence of the system and it would be in their best interests to be let free of this complete slavery......

til next time,

ShAdOwS