Why I won't be seeing Australia!

Firstly, I would like to tell you folks about a competition I saw at my workplace recently. If you buy a DVD witrh this sticker on it you can win stuff. It's a promotional gimick to get me to see the movie "Australia". This competition state "20 Australian holiday's to be one"... WOW! that musta set them back a few thousand bucks! I live here, I wanna go somewhere that isn't here. And no Perth isn't enough. Perth is "over there", I don't want to go ever there. it's like moving from the couch to the armchair. Seriously, it must've cost about 5 grand a trip, including spending money, and entry for one child into "ye olde sydney town". provided you go before 2003 when it closed down to become a drug re-habilitation clinic or something not that at all.

Anyway, why I won't be seeing australia:

- I live here! I see it everyday, I experience the amzing that is "Australia every minute of my life". Go me, I'm better than an American. Not because I live here, but because I know where "here" is.

- I'm sure the words "G'day" and "krickey" will surely be used. I have only heard these words used in Australian stereotypes, bad australian stereotypes. Hugh Jackman is a great actor but even he couldn't pull that off. Just like he couldn't pull off Viva Laughlin.



- Nicole Kidman

- I'm pretty sure Paul Hogan has quite a lawsuit to file against Baz Luhrmann. Cause I remember seeing this movie once before and it was called "Crocodile Dundee".

- Increasing popularity of the movie will push "australia" the country into secondary status in the wikipedia search engine. example, you type "australia" into wikipedia because you really want to know more about a country founded on horrible horrible crime, that was seen as so shit they sent society's outcast here. but instead you're reading about some movie made whenever the fuck and now the have to click anothoer link to see "other uses for australia (disambigation)".

Although I do hope the movie fares well at the american box office so I can start saying things like "I'm from Australia staring Hugh Jackman" or "Did you see Baz Luhrmann's Australia kick India's arse in the cricket last night". I also hope it wins exactly five academy awards so I can petition the Prime Minister the change the flag so instead of stars in the southern cross it is made up of Oscars.

Later