There is something wrong with the world.

While at the supermarket today, buying sealable sandwich bags (because condoms just won't do. They aren't big enough to hold my lunch at all.), I noticed a sign on one particular brand. The sign read thus: "Airport Travel Approved", and it looked a little something like this:

I had to say to myself

"James you really must lay off the LSD, especially when you shop. Remember that month all we had to eat was whipped cream and beef? Well I do and it wasn't pretty."

But then I realised, I hadn't had any LSD that day and these were legitimate words, not on a steak knife set, I could undestand that; An electric screwdriver would not be out of reach to common sense; heck, even a potato peeler might carry this kind of tag ("EVERYONE ON THE FLOOR OR HE LOSES THE TOP LAYER OF SKIN.... I MEAN IT!"), but on a packet of sandwich bags. I'll wait for that to sink in... Sandwich Bags. Bags, that hold sandwiches. A bag that has been specifically designed to carry foodstuffs, usually bags. Not designed to highjack a plane with. I have trouble thinking of any kind of crime you COULD commit with one.

I thought about it and came up with a likely scenario that would happen if you were caught with non-aport travel aproved sandwich bags, and it played out like this.

ME
Hello secrurity man, how are you?

SECURITY
Fine, sir. Open the bag, please.

I take my bag and open it the full way so as to be most helpful, cause I'm a helpful kinda guy...

SECURITY
What's this then, sir?

ME
That's my lunch, I'm going on an awfully long flight and plane food gives
me gas, and I don't want the other passenegers suffering that.

SECURITY
No, sir. The Bag. It's not airport approved. You'll have to come with me.



ME
Wha? bu? I didn't know. I thought all sandwich bags were safe.
Can't you just confiscate it and let me on?

SECURITY
Hmm, that sounds like something a terrorist would say. Take him
to Guantanamo Bay.

Later in Guantanamo Bay

DAVID HICKS
Welcome to Guantanamo Bay, where the sun always shines and the
rape is always brutal!

I know I made a joke about a potato peeler earlier, but I can see the overly sensitive airlines being worried about one, but what can I do with another sandwich bag that I can't do with this one? Does this one disolve in explosive liquid while the others carry it just fine? Are the other brands more prone to random asphyxiation? What? Please I'm genuinly worried about the kind of people who need this label.

And how did Hercules find out who to get this approval from? And before that, who thought they might need it? Was it a joke? "Hey Matt, you better make sure you get that airport approved, hahahahahaha." and was then taken way too seriously.

If we need airport approved sandwich bags then there really is something wrong with the world.