Scratch that!

Last week I mentioned about false advertising.. Well here I am again to bitch even more about it.. After realising that the only way for me to make a shit load of cash in the next four seconds was to buy a scratchie..
Once purchasing a dollar scratchie (Which cost me $1.15 - Work that fucken riddle out) I read the simple heading:
"Scratch and Win"
Fuck me! This is in the bag..
My body bloated up with hope (which turned out to be gas) but I knew, my life was about to change..
As I scratched that mispriced piece of paper I came to realise that scratch me happy was a scam!
Just like the mintie fiasco I had been sucked in!
So to all you cats who look to "Satan Scratchies" for a quick way out, think again..

P.S Why is there always two fucken $500,000 and never three! Bastards!

Love Scene xxxx

Absolute Gold!!

OMFG!!! (Osma Macho Freedom Gurana)

This site is simply the greatest!! Totes forgotten about by the rest of the world but to those that make it great it will remain just that..... simply..... great!!

So while I sit here and try desperately to load Android on my shitty HTC Elf with all the meager might of a dolphin removed for the sea to the Sahara desert. I have to wonder, Why is it so dam cold?!

Well it's been great but must pop back to it. Will be back to rue the day on the morrow, twinkle toes out!!

Tutorial 2 - It's moments like these..

I have had some shit happen in my life where i just hung my head and thought to myself - What the fuck?! Fucked up stuff with work, friends, girls you name it..
Everytime one of these "moments" has occured I have immediately craved a mintie.. According to the infamous "Jeremy", 'It's moments like these you need minties'.
So if you're ever in the middle of a crap sandwich wrapped in cling wrap, smash a mintie and all will become.. Fresh? Chewy?

How does that help?

I have a shit day, I smash a mintie and expect to win the lottery or something. Instead I get a sore fucken jaw from the teflon those white bastards are made of..

Sure they taste alright after you've writhed in pain from the incisor that popped out and you swallowed. But a good tasting white block of cement doesn't really solve the problem of the issue at hand. Unless of course that tooth you have been having trouble with gets ripped out from that white block of metal.

False advertising is rampid in todays society and I say enough is enough!
If I ever meet 'Jeremy' I will be giving him the "Scene Combo" which consists of a super swift head but followed by a knuckle sandwhich straight to the throat.. After Jeremy recieves this beating i'll casually toss him a mintie and ask if that fucken helps?

Then ill throw one at his temple and see if that helps too?

Doubt it..

Draw that on a fucken packet bitch..

Have a shit one..

Love Scene xxxx